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Friday, May 13, 2005

Love Versus Respect...the conclusion

For anyone who visits this blog, there was a post done a few blogs back where the question was asked.....if you had to pick one which would it be

A. To Feel Alone and Unloved

or

B. To Feel Inadequate and Disrespected by everyone

The purspose behind this question is to show that the brains and emotions of woman are different from mens. I know what you are saying.....yeah, no kidding sherlock. Well I just read the book "for women only...what you need to know about the inner lives of men"...by Shaunti Feldhahn. The book is supposed to be an eye opener about the differences that men and women have, and to show women how to embrace their husbands (or son, brother, fathers) differences. It was an eye opener.

The question above is to show that when men were asked this question 74% (3 out of 4) chose to feel unloved and alone. And that they equated the two as the same thing. When arguing with their spouse 81% of men felt that their wives didn't respect them during the conflict rather than did not love them (which is how a lot of women feel while in conflict with their spouses)

So basically if a man feels disrespected by his wife.....it is the equivalent of the wife feeling unloved.
Here are the basic "respect" needs

1. Respect his judgment (his knowledge, opinions, and decisions)
2. Respect his abilities (men like the challenge, so let them fix it and get unlost themselves)
3. Respect in communication (men are sensitive to hearing disrespect in reminders and etc)
4. Respect in public (this is obvious, don't tear them down in front of others)
5. Respect in our assumptions (the way you truly feel about your man)

The most important point is that for women we require unconditional love from our husband. Men require unconditional respect from their wives.

Ephesians 5:33 However each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This must be how it is supposed to work in the mind of men, since the Bible doesn't say
"women love your men" it says to respect them. So embrace the difference between men and women and learn from it. So say I.

For women who want to understand their men better I suggest this book, it is an easy read and I believe the author to be a christian.

for women only, what you need to know about the inner lives of men. Shaunti Feldhahn

posted by We Three Spences @ 9:53 AM

1 Comments:

At 2:28 AM, Blogger We Three Spences said...

Kristy...Dil,
It is a good book.
It can apply to any male in your life that you have a close relationship with.
It doesn't have to be a husband.
Men and women are so different from each other and we need to realize those differences and learn how to accept each other and love and respect each others differences.
I wonder...did she write one on women.
mmmmmmwaaaaa!
Jan...Mil

 

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